Kittens and Capes
by NeonEmotions
Summary: Gotham's had enough of the Joker. Arkham's not doing much for his insanity, and the city's taken a stand. So what does Batman have to do, to fix Joker? Get him to move in, of course.
1. Kittens and Capes 1: Meow

**A/N HI GUYS! Well, this is different, ain't it? Yeah. Just finished playing Batman: Arkham Asylum, and I loved it. So I decided to read a few fics, got inspired, and here I am. Be warned, NEVER seen a Batman movie, never read any comics, never seen a cartoon (Except ONE episode, and all I remember is the Joker and two of his henchmen *Henchclowns?* on a barge, gasmasks were involved, and Joker's green laughing gas spreading everywhere...), so this isn't going to be very good, nor will the characters be in character much. But please, I need to write this *Tough time at the mo*. If you wanna flame, go ahead. I need the gigglesnorts. I wouldn't mind some constructive criticism, and a few loves if you also don't mind. Whelp, stooooory tiiiime~**

Jack ran his purple clad hand through his styled, curly green hair. He sighed as he waited for his visitors, slowly attempting to get back into character. He twitched his fingers, cracked his joints, shook his head and bared his teeth, spreading his scarred lips into a giant grin. Corny, terrible jokes run amok in his twisted mind as Jack slowly disappeared. The Joker was in.

The doors leading to the Clown Prince's holding cell swung open, and two grown men (One wearing a grey jumpsuit with his undies over it) walked confidently over to him.

"Well well _well_, if it isn't Commissioner Gordon, and _Batsy_. To what do I this pleasure?" Joker stood up and walked over to the bars. He slowly curled his fingers around the cold, hard metal. "Be honest. Didja _miss_ me, toots?" His grin turned lecherous.

"Joker" Batman cut in stoically. Before the green haired villain could respond with 'You called, dear?', he continued. "You've been pardoned."

Joker's grin faltered, and for once in his life he was caught by surprise. Not wanting to seem off to the Caped Crusader, he quickly changed his face to something more familiar. "So Harley's payed off my debt and bail, eh? She's a good girl at heart, she really is. And _grrrrrrrrreat_ when you wanna quick go, _if you know what I mean_" He answered salaciously, playing along with the unexpected.

When Gordon spoke, it shocked Joker to the core.

"It wasn't Ms. Quinzel. You're a free man, as long as you follow our orders. You're to spend three months with Mr. Bruce Wayne in Wayne Manor. Every twelve hours, you take three tablets to help with you mental health. You've also got the responsibility of this sweet little kitten."

Batman pulled something out from a cage that Joker didn't notice him bring in. It was a small black sleeping ball of fur. Which the bat-wannabe handed to him through the bars.

Still shocked from the news, he cautiously took the ball. As he held it, inspecting it, the ball shifted and yawned. Joker wasn't quite sure whether he wanted to melt into a puddle at the undeniable cuteness, or kill it. He chose neither.

"Batman will drop you off at the manor. Bruce is apparently away for a while, so Alfred will take care of you 'til he gets back." With that, the elder officer of GCPD walked out, leaving the two enemies alone.

"It's a girl."

"What?" Joker was shaken out of shock at the sound of Batman's voice.

Indicating to the fluffy kitten, Bats repeated the three words. "It's a girl. You can choose her name. Make it something you'll like." He leaned in to the clownlike villain, and stared at him menacingly. "If anything happens to that cat, you'll wish you never lived."

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Neither man uttered even a single word during the ride to Wayne Manor. The only noise that filled the bat mobile was the occasional little _meow_ from the curious little kitty.

Joker was slowly warming up to the little thing, but he still didn't know what to call her. The whole ride names went around his head, but none of them were good enough. He had almost given up, deciding that 'Giggles' was a good enough name to fall back on.

As soon as the two drove into Wayne Manor's driveway, the elderly butler stepped outside to escort the guest in.

"Alfred will show you to where you'll be staying for your visit. All your things have been put away."

Joker took that as his cue to leave, so he bundled up his carry on items, and carefully picked up the kitten, which was only really just a little bigger than his hand. He placed her into one of his inside jacket pockets, where she immediately curled up and started to sleep. He didn't notice when the corners of his lips twitched up in a soft, small smile at the pleasing sight.

Things just got a whole lot worse when he stepped out of the car. Rain poured down from the clouds as soon as Batman drove off. His clothes were immediately drenched and his makeup was slowly coming off. Alfred made his way over with an umbrella, and waved as Batman sped away, probably to his bat cave.

"Right-o Jeeves, lead the way" Joker remarked in a fake, posh British accent.

Rolling his eyes, Alfred picked up Joker's things and walked up the manor steps. Once the two were inside, he shook the soaking umbrella dry, then closed the door. As he sighed in 'joy' at the thought living with the clown for three months and having to clean up after and for him, the umbrella was placed in its holder.

"Your room's this way" Mr. Alfred Pennyworth muttered loud enough for the new housemate to hear, and made his way up to the bedrooms, located in the West Wing.

Once Joker was left on his own in his room, he immediately went to the wardrobe, looking for clean, dry clothes. He was greeted by his obnoxious purple suits on one side and perfectly normal attire on the other. He started reaching for the suit when he accidently hit his head on the top on the wardrobe.

Jack shook his head and instead pulled out a plain white top and some worn jeans. As he took off his clothes, he failed to see the little, unnamed kitten crawl out from the discarded jacket. When Jack got in the shower and turned on the hot water, the kitten stretched and yawned. As Jack wiped his makeup off, that same little kitten made her way over to the balcony doors, which happened to be open. She wandered around, examining the outside. A huge gust of wind blew the doors shut, and she mewled as the rain got heavier. She hid under the table to get away from the cold, wet _things_ that were abusing her so, but the rain did not yield. It got under her hiding spot, and drenched her, and slowly she started resembling a drowned rat. A cold, drowned rat.

Jack couldn't hear her protesting, pained yowls as the wind and rain were too loud. Caught up in his shower, and the sudden situation he had found himself in, he had forgotten about the little cat. As he dried his green hair he looked to his left. The 'monster' scratching at those balcony doors shocked him, and it took him a moment to realise it was actually his charge. He reacted immediately. The doors were flung open and the hissing cat was brought inside and laid down on the bed. Jack took off the towel that was wrapped around his hips (Yes, that _did_ leave him naked) and wrapped the black kitten up in it. He rubbed it around furiously, attempting to dry the poor thing before it got sick. When the kitten was finally dry, he took off the towel, and out emerged a very fluffy kitten.

The adorable site was too much for Jack, as he fell about laughing. Her hair was sticking out everywhere, making it seem as if she had been electrocuted. But the most funniest thing of all, was that around her rump was the fluffiest, wildest of all, making it seem as if she had a tutu. As he wiped the tears from his eyes, he examined the kitten. "You know what? I think I'm going to call you 'Princess Fluffy-Butt'. Fluffy for short"

When Fluffy rolled onto her back and stuck her paws up in the air and waved them, Jack took it as a sign that she liked it.

Jack flopped onto his back and relaxed, forgetting that he was as naked as the day he was born.

Two knocks were heard on the door, then the knob was turned, opening the door and revealing Bruce Wayne. "How's everything? You settling in al-"

Bruce's eyes went immediately to Jack's nether region, and promptly bugged out of his head.

Jack fell off the bed, and he brought the blanket down as fast as he could to cover his privates. Fluffy mewled in protest at the loss of warmth and comfort but her owner paid her no attention.

"How's it hangin' Bruce?"

"... Low..."

**A/N: Well, that was fun :D What d'ya think? Yes, this WILL be continued, so lemme know what you guys want, mmkay? Now I shall go eat, nom nom nom :D**


	2. NEED TO KNOW

**A/N: NOT AN UPDATE! Well, it is... But, it's not a new chapter... *Technicalities -.- * Just a heads up. I know a few people that like my stories, but are a little hesitant about the gay stuff (No, they're not homophobes, just prefer reading about the more 'natural' pairing), so I'm gonna have these first few chapters with NO romance, between B-Man and Mistah J, 'kay? I'll have it so that there's a story within a story (Storyception), so those select few can enjoy the story too. I'll have another chap like this to let you all know when the juicy bits are in :D (No, I don't do porn. I'm a month away from 15, you freaks! Just give it a while, 'kay? ;) )**

**So we're clear? Great. I'll start on the next chap right NOW... After Adventure Time :3**


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